His stomach is bigger than his eyes...

Any of you have hungry teenage boys in the house?  It's rather unbelievable at my house...and when the friends join us, kawowza, Costco, here we come!

What's in a day's diet for the little guy?


Breakfast:  OK, this guilty mom hangs her head low as I have no idea what he eats before school as he's still asleep when I leave for work.  But, on the weekends, he'll eat a huge stack of pancakes, bacon (if Dave is around...I won't touch the stuff), fruit, and a big glass of milk.

Snack:  Being the great mom I am, I send him with two bags of goldfish and two bags of assorted chips.  (He loves me for that!)

Lunch:  The kid gets 3 school lunch trays, one after the other.  I've felt like a bad mom for not sending him with a brown bag lunch, but he'd totally need a duffel bag lunch!

Snack after school:  Half of a pizza and an apple slide down really easily.

Dinner:  The bigger and starchier the better.  And MEAT!  Again, seriously not my forté, but I make small attempts.

Snack:  Typically chips and guacamole or cookies and milk.


And after he sleeps all night, it starts all over again.  Yeesh!

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Showing up to School Nekkid

We've all had that dream, right?  If not that, then for sure showing up in PJs.  Well, today I showed up to work nekkid!  Not all of me, mind you.  Not even hardly any of me.  You know that feeling you get when you're in your car and you're just moving your car from the driveway to the street so you can use the blower to get all the leaves?  Not me, I mow, don't blow...but anyway...you have this not fully dressed feeling because you didn't bother to put your seat belt on.  Or when you leave the house without your cell phone and you feel like something HUGE is missing.  Well, today I left home without my bike helmet on.  I've done this before, but I always catch it within a block of my house.  This time I made it almost all the way to work when I realized something felt wacky.  My two clues?  The fabulous way the wind felt in my hair...and the shadow I cast looked like Madusa was in da house.  I've consistently worn a helmet since I had a wreck on the State Capitol grounds in 1993.  I had miscalculated a curb jump and my bike and I flipped, it tumbling into the grass a bit away from me, and me landing smack on my back, after bloodying my knees and elbows, and ever so lightly hitting my head.  I was launched full-on into "what could have happened" and bought my first ever-so-dorky helmet on my way home.

So, today as I rode my bike back home, with my helmetless head in charge of planning the whole voyage, I did not enjoy the feel of the wind in my hair at all.  Yup, I'm anti-nekkid...at least as far as my head is concerned.

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A Shot in the Arm

Tonight Dave, the little guy, and I went to get flu shots.  First pharmacy?  Well, they wanted us to wait an hour-and-a-half.  Uh...no.  The next pharmacy?  Fifteen minutes...ish.  So, we stuck around.  Well, turned out the kid couldn't get one because of his age (wassup with that?!?!), so he was trapped with his mom and dad.  Poor kid!

Fifteen minutes turned into about thirty minutes and I had some time to let words ramble around in my brain.  What did I do with that valuable time?  Well...this...my apologies.

"The family that waits together, irritates together."

"The family that jabs together, stabs together." 

"The family that gets shots together, rots together."

Yeah, I know, not my best work. 

Flattery will get you...

...well, pretty much nowhere at my house.


Big guy:  "Mom, do we have any pots that are clean?"

Me:  "I don't know, look."

Big guy:  "There aren't any."

Me:  "Well, you may need to wash one by hand."

Big guy:  "Will you do it?  You're so gooooood at it."

Me:  "Uh, no.  If you practice doing it you'll get gooooood at it."

Big guy:  "Oh, I found a clean one."


Drat!

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"All I Want for Christmas"

It's a lovely thing when you realize your needs are taken care of and your wants are few. What's even more wonderful is having teenagers who also embrace that view of life (OK, we did force it on them just a bit).

We've been talking about the upcoming holiday season and all they want is some cash.  Done!

Such a contrast to the plethora of plastic toys we used to buy/hide/wrap/stay up till 2 AM to secretly display/wake up at 6 AM when they realized Santa had come and gone.  And, yes, I loved all the ritual attached to a youthful Christmas.  But, the evolution that has come with teenagedom is downright blissful.  Leaves us energy to basque in the delight that holiday season is truly about...hanging out with family and friends.

And, speaking of family...well, you know how when you're little and you ask your parents what they want for Christmas and they always say,  "I'd love to have something you made."  Well, at least that's what mine said.  Anyway, I sure hope they still feel that way.

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I Kissed the Wrong Guy Tonight

Took the little guy and a friend of his to the annual lighting of the Zilker Christmas Tree (click here if you've never heard of it).  I've visited this awesome tree most of the past 43ish years...it's simply part of this season for me.  So, tonight we walked down the hill, wandered around as the nearby elementary school choir sang holiday tunes, counted down with the crowd, and CLICK, the tree came alive with a rainbow of lights.  I do love it so!  The kids spun around looking upward, got good and dizzy, and then we walked toward the funnel cake line.  I held on to my little guy's shirt so I wouldn't lose him in the crowd, yup, I'm clever that way.  We got in the line, I turned to check the prices, turned back and kissed my kid on the back.  Only it wasn't my kid!  The good news?  It wasn't a stranger.  Whew!  The bad news?  It was my kid's friend.  While I think he likely felt like vomiting on the inside, he smiled at me politely.

It's a good thing a greasy, sugary funnel cake heals errant kisses.

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Big Hair Gone Bad

I've got this largely unmanageable mass of hair atop my head.  I'm not one to put energy into such things, so my look is, simply, whatever my gone-to-sleep-with-my-hair-wet hair looks like.  So, when I went to Target the other day to buy a hair dryer with a diffuser, I was surprised (in spite of the fact that it was my idea).  Anyway, I bought said dryer with some gift cards I had from this and that occasion.  I got home, dried my hair with it...and, well, it was awful.  I ran to my computer, googled just how to dry one's hair with such an apparatus, and ran back to get my hair wet so I could try again...and it was FABULOUS!  I was seriously rockin' the bouncy curls!  In an orderly way and everything!

So, the next day, still filled with confidence, I dried my hair again...and it was terrible.  Jeepers!  No re-do for me this time, too tired, went to bed.

Next night the little guy begged me to do his hair.  His rather short, not-curly-anymore hair.  I explained the purpose of the diffuser and he insisted anyway.  So, I gave the kid some big Texas hair.  It poked out everywhere.  He hated it...of course.  He picked up the dryer intending to do I don't know what, and it wouldn't turn on.  It was D.O.A.

Apparently using a dryer with a diffuser NOT as intended causes it to self-destruct.  Back to Target it went...and, no, I didn't get a different dryer.  This messy haired chick is happily going back to her lazy ways.

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